


hands on hands

by charmainders



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Comfort, Falling In Love, First Love, Firsts, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27741895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmainders/pseuds/charmainders
Summary: Koi No Yokan.The feeling upon the first meeting that you’ll fall in love with the person. In literature, it’s called thepremonition of love.It’s beyond the idea of love at first sight - it’s more than that; it’s the foresight of knowing somewhat that perhaps his future laid in the hands of Daichi’s, an idea so raw to his heart that it sucks all the air out of his lungs momentarily.An idea that scares him so much, it leaves him in tears.Or, a small character study about Koshi and all the firsts in his life.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	hands on hands

Koshi is not unfamiliar to the idea of firsts in a friendship.

Despite being young, he’s seen it in the way his parents do it. It’s not their first time doing it, but they hold hands and tease each other like teens; they use baby-talk on each other much to the disgust of their two teenage children. Koshi will never admit that he finds it endearing. Instead, he covers his brother’s ears when his parents do it in front of them.

Firsts are a funny thing.

For most of his life, he’s known it as a way to mark an important milestone - first steps, first word, first tears, first tooth. In school, it’s a first friend. His _first friend_ is his neighbour just three houses down, a boy who had asked shyly if he wanted to play because he had been too tall and outcast by the rest for it. They’ve remained good friends since, and Koshi regularly goes over to play video games during the summer and winter breaks. His family knows Koshi’s and they come over for dinner sometimes.

On his first day in high school, he stands beside two of his classmates as they sign up for the volleyball club. They know each others’ names by now - Asahi’s got medium length wavy hair and he’s tall, intimidating at first, but he reminds Koshi of a big teddy bear, all fluff and no mean intentions. Then between them stands a boy who’s only about an inch taller than Koshi, short black hair a stark contrast to his own shiny, silver locks. Daichi’s eyes are a murky brown but filled with determination. 

The first time Koshi touches Daichi, it’s by accident. The seniors had asked them to show them their serves. Both of them reached into the ball trolley at the same time, and as a result, their hands brushed against each others’. Koshi glances at Daichi, cheeks a soft pink as he dips his head in apology. “I’m sorry, you can take the ball first.”

“No, you go ahead.” Daichi returns the apology, and Koshi takes it that he’s just being formal. “I was being hasty and should’ve stopped myself when I saw your hand reach in.”

Koshi laughs heartily, reaching for a ball and passing it over to Daichi, then taking one for himself afterwards. He doesn’t complain about how Daichi should’ve seen his hands. Rather, Koshi thinks about how Daichi’s knuckles feel _nice_ on the back of his hand, and he thinks about how he likes the feeling. It’s a strange thought, but _not_ entirely unwelcome.

❋

When mid-spring comes, it’s after the end of their first year in Karasuno.

Koshi is having a hard time sleeping. He’s not sure entirely why, but he supposes that between dealing with hormones and growing up, it’s making him feel uneasy to think about how quickly it’ll be before he has to decide what he wants for the future. Three short years seemed like barely enough to make that decision; he feels far too young for that. 

It’s a lot to consume and swallow. Combining that with the responsibility of being an older brother and wanting to set an example, it’s easier said than done. 

Koshi calls Daichi up one night. He feels bad for potentially waking Daichi up from his deep sleep, but he doesn’t want to call Asahi because he knows Asahi is away in Tokyo visiting his elder sister. So he hopes Daichi won’t be angry with him calling out of the blue. It’s also no secret that the two of them have grown closer, with the shared experience of being the eldest sibling.

A raspy voice comes to the phone when the call connects. “Hello?”

Koshi sucks in a breath. What was he so nervous for? “Daichi? Is this a bad time?”

“Koshi? Why are you up so late? It’s two in the morning.” his voice immediately perks up. 

Koshi feels like he’s about to sob. With his parents away from home for work, he spends a lot of time keeping it all down so his brother doesn’t have to worry about him. Sometimes it’s rough because his brother is a first-year middle school student and can’t exactly understand the struggle Koshi has. He doesn’t blame his brother, because he’s still young and putting such thoughts on his mind would only confuse him more. “I can’t sleep.”

“Do you want me to come over?” Daichi asks, which Koshi raises his brows at.

“You don’t have to if you can’t. It’s two in the morning.”

There’s ruffling noises in the background, followed by the sounds of something being taken off a hanger. “Nonsense. I’m coming over. I’ll text you when I reach.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.” Koshi keeps the sob down, trying to compose himself.

Koshi anxiously paced the hallway and living room while waiting for Daichi. Was it wrong to wake Daichi up at such a late hour? He knew Daichi had siblings too, which meant it would be harder to rest in the day, and Koshi felt bad. But the moment he hears gentle knocks on his front door, he opens it and feels the worry drain away from his muscles, staring at the person he’s been hoping to talk to, in need of shared experience.

“I brought snacks.” Daichi raised his hand to show the bag of snacks, smiling faintly. “I didn’t know if you were hungry, and there’s too many snacks for the siblings, so I suppose I’ll dump them on you instead.” 

Koshi stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind Daichi after. “I appreciate it.”

After they settle in his room with soft light coming from his desk lamp, both of them sit knee to knee on Koshi’s bed, facing each other. Daichi has his palm up for Koshi, and he takes it, just holding it ever so slightly. 

“If you don’t want to talk it’s okay,” Daichi reassures when he sees Koshi try to mouth something, but fails to say a word. Koshi’s throat strangles with a gentle sob, trying to hold it back. He’s so used to holding everything back, always has. Instead of any other word, he crumbles and leans forward, letting his head press against Daichi’s shoulder.

It’s not the first time they’ve hugged or let their bodies touch. Koshi has grown used to sitting beside Daichi by now like they would when they went for their competitions. Sometimes during lunch, Koshi would playfully do so, giggling at Asahi’s lame attempts at a joke.

It feels natural to be here like this, in each others’ personal space, their palms in each others’.

_Seconds turn to long, quiet minutes._

“We should sleep.” Daichi runs a comforting hand down Koshi’s back, and it brings a soft, relaxed exhale out of him. “It’s too late for me to return home, and I don’t know if you’ll sleep.”

Koshi lifts his head to look at Daichi, eyes faintly red-rimmed from his tears.

Daichi brushes at his hair, offering a small, comforting smile of his own. He adjusts his position, laying down against the wall where his bed is pressed up against and fluffs the pillow gently. “Come on. I’ll stay here till morning.”

Koshi doesn’t question it. 

The first time they cuddle, it’s out of the need for something to help Koshi feel better.

Daichi’s embrace is warm like the first sunray at dawn in winter. Despite the season being mid-spring now, Koshi doesn’t feel like it’s too stuffy from the looming heat of summer that follows. Rather, it’s soothing, just right, and it almost lulls him completely to sleep. He fights to stay awake for just a little longer so he can relish in this warmth. 

He musters up any energy left in him to speak again. “Daichi?”

“Yeah?” 

“I’m scared of the future.”

A deep shaky breath leaves Daichi. Koshi doesn’t look up, not wanting to see Daichi tear up because Koshi hates seeing others cry because of something he said. He hears how the sniffles make a soft rumbling deep in Daichi’s chest as he presses his ear to him.

“Me too.” Daichi admits after a while. “But we can be scared. Together.”

Koshi glances up at Daichi, an arm over Daichi’s hip, their legs tangled. Their eyes meet.

For the first time, he feels a weird flutter in his stomach.

_“Together.”_

❋

After their first time cuddling, it continues to happen. Through the March break, they meet up at least two to three times a week, and they cuddle during their sleepovers. Then in the third week, they end up cuddling through the day, too. Sometimes Koshi will lay his head on Daichi’s lap when they play video games, and other times they’ll hold each other close and nap.

Koshi begins to grow reliant on Daichi to sleep when his parents are out of town and the worries plague through his dreams.

Neither of them speak about the arrangement. It feels natural for Daichi to be over in his room at one in the morning, holding him close to his chest as they cuddle, hands all over each others’ skin as they try to get some sleep. It feels like steadily, his foundation is stabilising and the ground he stands on is no longer cracked, held together by Daichi’s strong hands.

Koshi doesn’t think about how the weird fluttering in his stomach only grows stronger the more they continue to do so.

This arrangement continues well into their second year. Weekends are filled with homework, studying, volleyball practice, and Daichi’s warm embrace.

_Firsts are a funny thing._ The first time he feels his heart run faster, it’s when Daichi cheers about how he can finally spike a straight ball. Daichi cheers as he runs to Asahi and Koshi, yelling and hugging as they dance around in a circle. The first and third years laugh about it, cheering Daichi on, too.

It’s not the first time Koshi has hugged Daichi. They’ve done it so many times by now, in the dark of the night and sometimes in the afternoons, but suddenly his heart is going fifteen miles an hour and he’s slightly lightheaded.

It’s the first time he realizes he _might_ be in love with his best friend.

Ah, he thinks as he walks home by himself that evening after dropping Daichi off at his, so _this_ is what love feels like. The kind of love he sees on television, the kind that his parents share. Not the kind he shares with his brother, the kind of familial affection. Koshi tries to reason it in him that it’s just strictly platonic - they care about each other, they cuddle sometimes when Koshi can’t sleep, Daichi comes over at one in the morning at times just to make sure Koshi sleeps. They walk home together; Daichi splits the last meat bun between them if he can’t get more, and sometimes Daichi pays for his ice pop. 

He tries to tell himself that Daichi just sees him as a brother figure. Sure, they _do_ cuddle, but it’s just because Daichi is too concerned to go home and leave Koshi to wallow in his own thoughts.

He pushes it down to keep his and Daichi’s pride intact, and to keep their friendship.

The first time he realizes he might be in love with his best friend, it’s also the first time Koshi cries over the fact that he’s got his feelings all mixed up.

❋

Koshi spends a lot of their cuddling time thinking about Daichi’s fingers in his hair.

It’s not the first time they’ve held hands. On this cold winter night, three days before the prefecture preliminaries, Koshi finds himself unable to fall asleep again, plagued with thoughts about how he felt unprepared to play. Calling up Daichi was an instinct by now. At three in the early crack of the morning, the two of them lay together, the dim light barely bouncing off Daichi’s gentle features. His murky, brown eyes are soft, lashes short but gorgeous up close. 

_Silence._ No words said. Daichi’s long, sturdy fingers brush through Koshi’s platinum locks, fingertips gentle on his skull, loose strands falling through the gaps of Daichi’s fingers like water. Koshi takes a long breath, then leans into his touch, closing his eyes to take it all in.

Koshi wonders how his parents felt when they fell in love for the first time. Was it just as scary for them? Did they hate the feeling of being unsure? How were they so certain about each other if they had been together since high school, too? 

Daichi’s hand travels down his neck, over his shoulder, and down to his wrist. “Koshi?” he whispers, eyes meeting his as they lay side by side at eye-level. “I know you’re worried, and it’s normal. Jitters. I understand that.” he reassures in his best tone, “Just promise you’ll continue to set for the team as best as you can, that’s all we need to do.” 

“And what if we fail?” Koshi can’t help but ask, an uneasy feeling settling further into his stomach. “I just feel inadequate...what if I’m unable to do it right?”

Daichi doesn’t blink, doesn’t waver. His eyes are strong and determined, as they always are. It's the reason why Koshi’s foundations have only grown stronger with Daichi in his life. “Then we try harder. Even if we lose, we won’t regret it if we try hard enough.”

Koshi’s shaky hands, the ones he sets the ball with; he feels inadequate about them. But hearing what Daichi has to say, he resolves to holding his words back, taking Daichi’s hand in his own, intertwining them together. Their fingers slot together like lock and key, like night and day. A perfect pair that fits like a puzzle piece. Daichi’s hand is warm against his own. 

“I know you struggle to warm your hands when you’re worried.” Daichi laughs softly, bringing Koshi’s hand up to his lips. He blows warm air on Koshi’s hands and rubs them with his own. Koshi’s heart pounds fast - the thought of Daichi’s lips on Koshi’s hands. _That’s_ the thing that’s making him all fluttery? Not the preliminaries?

“Y-yeah, I always do.” Koshi nods, laughing weakly as he pulls his hands back. Koshi doesn’t want to think about how well their hands fit together anymore, not at least for the next week or so. He doesn’t speak again and just turns around, letting his back face Daichi. The other just huffs softly and moves closer to spoon Koshi, sturdy with one arm around his waist.

It shouldn’t bother Koshi how they fit together so perfectly because it’s _not_ the first time. 

Koshi tries not to think about it.

❋

Koshi tries not to think about how they’ve done it all _wrong._

Relationships in the movies usually don’t start out this way, _right?_ All the couples meet for the first time in snow, mostly, because snow and romance are a match made in heaven in literature. Then they fall in love, they long for each other secretly, and they go on a first date. They confess under the stars or cherry blossoms, and then they start dating. Moving in, cuddling, talking about children. They get married later, maybe five years. 

They’re doing it all wrong, or at least that’s what the hopeless romantic in Koshi wants to believe.

They’ve done the reverse instead. They met, then cuddled out of the pure need for comfort. Koshi relies on Daichi to sleep on some nights when his body just can’t shut down right and his mind is heavily plagued by thoughts that he can’t quell. 

Koshi shouldn’t be this afraid, he’s been in love before. But as he thinks about it - _no, he hasn’t._ In the past, it had mostly just been infatuation. The girl in his middle school, his elementary crush. Those were just admiration. Koshi liked being around them, and being young meant that he probably mixed those feelings up.

So now, being almost seventeen, he realizes that perhaps he’s the only one to blame for mixing up his own feelings. This could be infatuation, right? Or was it him hoping Daichi will look at him the same way Koshi did?

No, it isn’t. The other half of him knows subconsciously that it isn’t infatuation. Daichi has been there since the beginning, has always comforted him, was always willing to come over to his in the dark of night at the expense of his own sleep. Nobody would willingly cuddle him like that, and his poor heart is supposed to not fall in love with a man like that?

Koshi suddenly remembers that thought he had back in first year. The strange budding feeling after he met Daichi for the first time, when their hands brushed upon reaching for the ball in the trolley. The one that made his stomach all fluttery and his mind slightly too hazy. 

It makes sense, now.

_Koi No Yokan._ The feeling upon the first meeting that you’ll fall in love with the person. In literature, it’s called the _premonition of love._ It’s beyond the idea of love at first sight - it’s more than that; it’s the foresight of knowing somewhat that perhaps his future laid in the hands of Daichi’s, an idea so raw to his heart that it sucks all the air out of his lungs momentarily.

An idea that scares him so much, it leaves him in tears.

❋

They lose to Date Tech.

It should’ve been fine. A learning lesson for everyone, but a fight broke out while they were cleaning up for the day. The day after, Noya is suspended and Asahi refuses to talk to anyone else on the team.

After trying to talk to Asahi for what felt like the millionth time, Koshi finally backs off. His head is half in the game when they practice that afternoon, attended by only him, Daichi, and the remaining first years.

He feels like he could’ve done _more._

As they walk home that night, Koshi is trailing by a few steps, his feet merely following Daichi’s as they walk in the dark, illuminated by just the lamps above their head. It’s a Saturday evening, so they take their time. They have all of the time in the world right now. They have nowhere to go. No road map, no future games to play for at least the next six months at the very least. 

Koshi’s throat strangles with a sob when he thinks about all of it. 

Then he chokes on his sob and it all _spills_ from his lips.

Daichi turns around immediately, walking back to him and holding him by the shoulders. “What’s wrong?” he asks softly, almost inaudible in the blowing wind of winter. Koshi barely hears it, doesn’t reply at all. His shoulders shake gently through the sobs, quiet but heavy. 

“Koshi,” Daichi whispers empathetically, moving closer by half a step as he brings Koshi into his arms. Koshi hooks his chin over Daichi’s shoulder, arms just at elbow height as they hug under the light of a lamp post. 

“Daichi, don’t leave me,” he mumbles through shaky, short breaths, almost unable to speak through how heavy his tears are. “I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if you do.” He’s not thinking right as he tries to articulate his thoughts, not realizing how desperate he sounds in the moment. Yet he could care less about that. He _needs_ to put it all out. He _needs_ Daichi to know.

“I could never. Not when I need you.”

Koshi swallows hard, before realizing what Daichi said.

“W...What?”

“I said _I_ need you.” Daichi’s tone is firm, steady, and it holds Koshi’s shaky foundation from further crumbling apart. He’s still not clear headed enough to understand what Daichi means, though. He thinks Daichi is trying to tell him that when the new first years come in, he’ll need his vice-captain by his side to help him keep the team going, especially without a coach to help them. It’s a fair point; Koshi understands how tough this week has been dealing with Asahi and Noya’s departure from the team.

Koshi sucks in a long breath. “I’m not leaving the team anytime soon.”

“Koshi, that’s not what I meant.” 

His hands tremble as Daichi reaches to hold them, blowing warm air into them. “You forgot your gloves again?” He asks, rubbing their hands together. He doesn’t let go right after, though. Daichi keeps their hands in each others’, and Daichi begins to kiss Koshi’s knuckles, between the spaces, and all his fingertips.

Koshi watches with confusion, but it fills his heart with warmth. It’s the first time he’s been kissed on any body part the way Daichi does it.

“How are you going to continue playing and being our team’s setter if you don’t take care of your pretty hands?” Daichi huffs with a gentle, low voice, “If you don’t take care of your hands, then the most important part of our team will crumble too.” 

Koshi sobs again, making eye contact with Daichi. _Grounded, safe, warm;_ his foundations are all stable again despite the cracks that threatened to swallow them whole. It’s funny how Koshi has been trying to suppress his feelings when the person who can easily quell of them has been by his side all along. His anchor, the light at the end of the dark tunnel - it all began with the night they cuddled for the first time.

Koshi has been so stupid to assume otherwise. “I need you, too.” he throws his arms around Daichi’s neck, unable to hold back and without a second thought to hesitate.

His first kiss is clumsy as Koshi can barely register what he’s doing before he even does it. His head is all fuzzy, both from the cold and how soft Daichi’s lips are against his own imperfect ones. His body is warm like it always has been to his memory. Daichi’s arms are strong, sturdy like a giant tree branch, barely letting go as they slip around his waist.

It’s less than perfect, but when Koshi pulls back, he’s met with Daichi's safe hands on his face. Daichi’s hands are big, palms slightly larger than his own. He wonders why Daichi is always so warm, probably because he eats a lot and his body is constantly working to digest large amounts, but it’s like a fireplace with the brightest flame in winter that draws the cold and weak to it.

When they finally catch their breaths, warm air leaving their lips in misty clouds, Koshi tries to piece his thoughts. “Funny how we went the other way around huh? Cuddling first and then realizing we need each other?”

Daichi huffs again, shrugging it off. “I was waiting to see if you possibly felt the same way.”

Koshi’s hand reaches up to touch Daichi’s cheeks, fingertips on his sculpted jaw. He sees the subtle way Daichi’s pupils dilate and he closes his eyes to lean into Koshi’s touch. It’s endearing, and Koshi leans in to peck his cheeks. “You could’ve told me.”

“You had a lot on your plate, and I didn’t want you to be overwhelmed.” He purses his lips. They’re still standing in single-digit weather, freezing cold, but Koshi could care less right now.

Eventually, they decide that it’s best if they go to Koshi’s place for the night and stay warm. Daichi’s parents would just assume he’s out for the night anyway since it happens so often. They make it back to Koshi’s, hand in hand, shrugging off their winter jackets and their scarves. They greet Koshi’s parents, then head up the stairs into his room.

The warm shower Koshi takes can’t compare to Daichi’s loving arms. So when he crawls into bed for the night, he makes sure to hold Daichi a little tighter, closer to him, with a hand over Daichi’s chest where his heart is. The first time they cuddle after confessing, Koshi knows that he’s finally home, where he belongs.

The second time they share a long kiss, it’s softer than the first, passion overflowing. They don’t need words - the way they hold each other is _enough._

❋

The first time Koshi says I love you, it’s after they lose to Seijoh.

Everyone’s having it rough. Crying at the restaurant takes a toll on everyone. Both Daichi and Koshi try to keep their spirits up so they don’t bring it down further, but it’s hard. They go to Daichi’s that night and fall apart in each others’ arms, safe from the world, just the two of them.

It’s not the first time they’ve seen each other cry, before. On the bus back from the stadium, Daichi had leaned over, curled up and gently sniffled into Koshi’s shoulder. Daichi hardly does it, because he always wants to keep up the image of being fine for the rest of the team that depends on him, but in Koshi’s arms, he breaks.

Both of them broke that night. Koshi cries hard, knowing that even if they could’ve done more, they simply wouldn’t have been able to cope with the stress. Their dream of making it to the championship will probably never come true. But Koshi finds that regardless, he’s happy enough to have played and been a mentor to the first and second years.

“So we just leave?” Koshi asks the hard question after they’re both coherent enough to speak from the heavy tears. Daichi’s bed is much more suited for two to lay side by side, but Koshi lays his head on Daichi’s shoulder as they lay on their backs, facing the ceiling. “After _all_ the work we put in...we just leave the club?”

“Takeda-sensei will probably convince us to do so. With college prep class and finals coming, it’s probably time to hand over the baton to the second years.” Daichi solemnly states. It’s true, even if neither of them wants to admit so. 

Silence fills the air before Koshi sits up and looks over his shoulder. He’s aware that his eyes are still red, but right now he wants to be anything but sad. He takes Daichi’s hand in his own and gives a genuine smile. “Let’s just forget about this for tonight. Take it easy, watch something on your laptop, and then deal with this on Monday.” Koshi suggests, playing with Daichi’s fingers.

Daichi returns the smile with his own, breathing a small sigh. “That’s not a bad idea.” 

“When do I ever have bad ideas?” 

“Sometimes. Not often, but when you get them, it’s unbelievable.”

“That’s harsh,” Koshi grabs one of the pillows and shoves it in Daichi’s face. He gets hit in return and before he knows it, he’s pulled down, face to face with Daichi. Koshi doesn’t waste a second, leaning down quickly to press his lips and body to Daichi’s.

They’ve shared many kisses between the period they started dating and the present, but today, after losing and worrying about the future, he kisses a little deeper, slightly more passionate, his hands holding Daichi’s face tighter, as if Daichi would slip out of his fingers and disappear.

When they let go, Koshi chases after Daichi, littering gentle ones up his jaw, then planting one on his forehead. It’s all of the love he has that he can give, tender and a language that only _both of them_ speak. Koshi’s fingers rub gentle swirls to Daichi’s temples, his gaze soft. The feeling that stirs in him is overwhelming and overflowing. He musters up the courage in him to say what he’s been hoping to for the last few months. 

_“I love you,”_ he whispers, his love blooming like the first sakura blossom in spring. He means every single word, and he can’t stand to think of a future without Daichi in it.

The right of Daichi’s lips curl into a gentle grin in response. _“I love you too.”_

❋

There’s many firsts that follow after. The first time they step onto the orange court when they go to nationals, the first time they win at nationals together. Every first holds a special meaning that only he can really describe. It amazes him how he can remember all of the firsts that happen that involve Daichi. It all began with their first meeting in first year.

He experiences his first heartbreak when they move to their respective colleges and they separate for a bit to gain their footing while being apart from each other. They don’t break up, but they mutually agree that it’ll be easier to take a break and then come back to each other when their minds are clear and settled.

Eventually, when Daichi comes to visit Koshi three weeks after the term begins, they hold each other so tight that Koshi forgets how to _breathe._

The first time they get intimate, it’s after they move back to Miyagi. After being apart for so long, Koshi still can’t quite believe that Daichi wants and loves him like he did when they were seventeen. He asks Daichi what he sees in Koshi, in a moment of self-doubt, and Daichi shows him. Daichi whispers the sweetest nothings in the middle of kissing. In his words, he tells Koshi, "I wouldn't trade you for the world."

Koshi sobs in his arms after, his heart swelling at all of Daichi’s devotion.

When Koshi turns twenty-six, they buy their first house together. They’d both saved up a lot of their money to afford one, a simple two-bedroom and one living room home that has a lovely sunset view from their balcony. It isn’t much, but they make the most of it with whatever they can loan from the bank and afford with their own funds. It’s the best they can do as teachers in an elementary and high school.

Both of them go shopping the day before they move in - bedroom slippers in matching colours, bathrobes with their initials, kitchenware in colours to match their beautifully designed kitchen, pillowcases in pastels because Koshi loves soft tones. They can afford to indulge, and they agree that they want to make it as comfortable as they can.

It’s strange how his life has taken a turn from just being a setter and vice-captain on a high school team. Now, as he wakes from his deep sleep and the sound of tiny feet on wooden floor panels fills the air like raindrops on a window, he thinks about all of the firsts in his life. The latest first had been a big jump in their lives. It had been in the air for a long time, a thought that Koshi planted when they were stable enough in their new lives and jobs. 

Daichi had been sceptical at first, understandably so since he’s the eldest child of four siblings. But after hearing Koshi’s thoughts about adopting, Daichi agreed after, stating that their home would be more lively. They eventually adopt a girl and a boy, named Akemi and Haruki. Akemi has a tiny hair sprout like Koshi's own, and Haruki's a perfect copy of Daichi with his determined eyes and eyebrows to match.

Koshi glances over at Daichi from his spot in his bed, groggy from sleep but with a lovesick smile. Daichi’s skin shines in the rays of the sun that filters through the crack in the curtains, and Koshi adores how in his sleep, every problem falls away to leave behind the innocence. He knows the kids will run into their room in about seven minutes from now, but Koshi can take his time to indulge in the view. It’s far from the first time he realized he’s in love, but his love has remained _unconditional_ for Daichi. 

_Life is filled with firsts,_ Koshi learns. But one thing will always remain. 

Daichi is his _first_ and _his forever, his home, his anchor._

He wouldn’t change a thing for what he has now.

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! it's been a while since i wrote something so self-indulgent. this idea started off as a concept of firsts in relationships. it grew into the idea of exploring firsts in something as raw as teenage first love. i thoroughly enjoyed writing this and would love to see what y'all think of it!
> 
> come yell at me on twitter if you want to! @/SUGAWARAVITY.
> 
> x char.


End file.
